#I used to be the exact opposite and would fully uncontrollably cry even in public
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i almost made myself cry about my old car again today and for being a person who infamously Does Not Cry or Feel Things (Anymore) that’s honestly even more embarrassing
#people love to be like ‘wow it’s very impressive how well you have your shit together’#and I do appreciate and acknowledge that but I need to stress that#I used to be the exact opposite and would fully uncontrollably cry even in public#cry when I’m angry etc etc#and through a balance of adderall and weed and being a workaholic I have managed to bury that pretty far down#As is necessary for survival when you are severely depressed and also everything feels incredibly doomed and hopeless#and you’re self employed single income household fully self supporting and need to lock the fuck in#but out of EVERYTHING … thinking about a car accident that nobody was hurt by that happened a year and a half ago#is what’s repeatedly breaking through all of that#idk man I feel bad for that inanimate object and even though the crash was my fault and I allowed it to rot in a field up until this week#I feel a real true sense of having let down a friend who was never anything but good to me#….god this bitch can fit so much autism in her#Matilda by PUP energy for sure tho#I screme
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